Well....I have obviously taken my time with this project. It's been almost two months since my last post. That's perfectly fine by me as I want to take this project at its natural pace (and not in a direction that feels forced or coerced). As a result, it's good to be back and feel no guilt in putting this aside for a moment. 

Below are some reflections as I take a moment to look back on this absence. 

[A note on how to "read" this: I value complexity, intersections, and multiplicities. For me, this means sometimes a "single word" cannot express a "single idea". Therefore, I use " / " to distinguish the multiple words that are conveying the single idea. I have placed them all in [ ] so it is a bit easier to understand. I also know that for some thinking in multiplicity is difficult. To help facilitate understanding, I suggest picking just ONE word in the [ ] and continuing to read. It's all the same thing anyway.]

• There is a reflective peace in letting [self / rhythms / experience / universe] just be. This peace is not always experienced in the moment. Rather, it comes in the stillness cultivated over time through the continued [act / presence] of being. And this peace [is always passing / can never be [held / captured / replicated]]. 

 

• I enjoy reflecting on my [work / practice / art / process]. There is a certain amount of [comfort / ease / relaxation] that comes from looking [back / forward / inward / outward  / deeper / broader].  And I relish that [comfort / ease / relaxation]. 

 

• [Structure / form / ritual] help facilitate reflection. It was nice to pick this blog back up and know that there was already and existing blog format that I could just plug back into. This is similar to the original #100Days project, which had a more rigid structure. But a few changes -- modifying the project to 100 non-consecutive days and the form being a blog post that can have a range of content -- have made a significant difference in my personal [feeling / approach / relationship / commitment] to reflective practice, one that feels even more [complete / whole / transformative / integral]. 

 

• I want to increase the frequency by which I post. While I am actually glad I do not feel guilt over taking a break, I also want to commit to a more rigorous practice. Coming into this space is [refreshing / rejuvenating / affirming]. I need to be in this space more, especially in these times of massive uncertainty.  

Well... that's it for now. Look forward to more soon too! 

So....I missed two days this week. Guess I needed a break....

Which got me thinking of the purpose of these posts and this particular project, of how I am the one able to set parameters, of how those parameters can stretch and become redefined. 

With this in mind, I am keeping on keeping on with my #100MoreDays project, but with a modification. Instead of posting EVERY DAY for 100 days, I am going to post 100 of my days. So this means it could take me MORE than 100 consecutive days to post. 

This feels a bit freeing for me. I want to commit to this project. I also need a break from ensuring that I post something EVERY SINGLE DAY. It gets exhausting posting every day, and that isn't the point of this project.

Rather, its purpose is to inspire me and to keep me committed to my practice. When it doesn't serve this purpose, the parameters should change.

And indeed I am changing them.

And here's video about what I've been working on.

Links mentioned:

• Organization producing the HatchLab: www.thealliance.media 
• Article I mention: https://medium.com/@thealliance/big-bang-the-question-3bdf72b06541
• AppalShop & Appalachian Media Institute 
• RYSE Youth Center
• Art and Race Conference: www.artandrace.com
• CounterPulse BlockFest: counterpulse.org/blockfest/

A practice that I have had for over a decade is consulting the Tao Oracle by Ma Deva Padma. I start with three cards. The first card drawn is where I currently am. The second card is what is to come / what may be on the horizon. The third card is how to find balance. 

From there, I will sometimes seek more specific insight into a current area of my life. 

Today, I woke up and knew I wanted to draw cards. It's been a while, and I needed to find some grounding. This is what I drew. And the altar on which it was drawn. 

LINK ONE
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​LINK FIVE 

Got a migraine after work today. It made me squint and want to vomit. I was going to head home, especially as the sun was so damn bright. Instead, I decided to take a walk and visit the Living Innovation Zone at the Asian Art Museum. It was lovely seeing Megan painting and working on her Flower Interruption installation with Maw Shein Win's poetry. And I got to meet the Hunter's Point Family Stewards today as well (see selfie). 

As I walked the streets, a couple of moments captured my eye. So I snapped a picture. (see pictures above)

My migraine subsided, and I headed home to make some dinner. 

Cooking is always something that brings me life. I love going into the kitchen and letting the ingredients and spices move me. I smell, feel, listen and discover what wants to be made. It helps ground me, and it's most definitely a part of my practice. Below are some pictures of what I made.  

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LINK FIVE

This concept of neighborliness -- what it means and how it manifests -- is obsessing me. I can't seem to get it off my mind, and I am constantly looking for it. I want to know it intimately, even more intimately than I know my face (and that I've sketched over 100 times).

I find it often on buses, those unique spaces of transition. They capture the motion of people between. This kinetic energy, often vibrant like a deep magenta, sometimes combusts into neon fuchsia from misunderstood behaviors or negligent awareness. Other times it warms into a rich violet as riders share memories across geographies and generations. Still, other times it dulls into a forgettable mauve while all hold on hoping to get to their destination uninterrupted. 

Today, the bus was that mauve, and I hopped on at 16th and Bryant Street. 

I was on my way to meet Andrea Fuenzalida, a friend and fellow artist who helps run The Poppies (a pop-up shop). We were about to plan our next pop-up coming in July. I was looking forward to chatting, planning, and smoking a joint, and it was also just another Tuesday afternoon.

The mauve set it, and I plugged in my earbuds. It was time to tune out, so I stared out the window while listening to my Magical Monday Mix. Aaaahhhhh... just the break needed between barista-ing and a meeting. 

The joy of looking out the window is also catching glances of what unfolds on the bus itself. A woman with dirty blonde hair and chipping lavender nail polish held open the back door. "Driver! Can you please wait a minute," she yelled. And without waiting for an answer she ran out the back donor screaming to her friend across the street. 

"Hurry up! I got the bus to wait for you. Come on!" 

And her friend, scared to cross a busy Fifth Street on a red light, screamed back, "I'm coming! I'm coming!"

The bus did wait, and they both hopped on. 

"Thank you, driver," shouted the woman with lavender fingernails. The other woman walked to the front, paid her fare, and profusely thanked the driver. Off we went. 

Two stops later, the beep, beep, beep of the wheelchair lift called me back to the bus. An elderly woman using her wheelchair as her walker tried to hop on. Her dexterity, or lack thereof, made navigating the front of the bus difficult, so she struggled. And she struggled some more. 

I sat in the back watching waiting for someone closer to help. I thought the driver, who had so patiently waited, would get up and lend a hand. Still, she struggled, and still I waited for someone else. 

I became angry and frustrated that no one was acting. Clearly, the elder needed help, and clearly there were able-bodies people in arms reach. "Why wasn't anyone acting," I screamed to myself. 

Only, I heard it more clearly as, "Why am I not acting?" So I stood up and walked to help her. Everyone else just stared. 

The old woman whose head was wrapped in a navy and gold scarf was clearly flustered. "Can I help you," I asked.

"Oh, dear, yes please," she responded. 

We navigated the tricky turn onto the bus from the door together and made our way to where her wheelchair could get locked in. The seat, however, was down. I fumbled underneath the seat knowing there was some sort of latch to lift the seat. But I couldn't find it. I got on my knees and tried to find the latch, but I'm not flexible (never have been) and I couldn't see it. 

And everyone else just stared. The driver just sat there.

We sat there long enough for someone else to hop on the bus. He noticed me struggling, knew exactly where the latch was, and pulled. I clicked the wheelchair into position. The woman with her head wrapped sat down. 

"We're good to go," she said; the driver pulled away, and I headed back to my seat. 

"Driver! Aren't you supposed to help wheelchairs get locked into place," yelled a woman who had just been staring and tapping her foot as we continued down 5th street.

It is here that I notice what is to be a neighbor. Neighbor just means someone in proximity to you. The old woman in the navy and gold head scarf was near me, and therefore my neighbor on that bus. 

But neighborliness is something more. It is witnessing those who are near and doing what you can within your means to make life a little better for all. It often requires action, and sometimes it requires pause. Though, it always requires listening, being aware of cues both verbal and silent. 

Today, neighborliness meant helping an elder get onto the bus. It also meant not letting that mauve consume me to the point of complacency like so many others on that bus. It meant really listening and not just to the woman as she struggled but to myself. It meant asking of myself that which I was expecting of someone else.

​And maybe that is also what it means to just be a neighbor. 

sun-kissed, sand-speckled ice
planted where golden  
gated pacific crashes 

knees dirty, hands dusty
eyes notice details
my thumb snaps

just beyond softness
clarity at edges

a golden ratio

Please check out the links. Especially the ones from today; There are some really incredibly videos that are quite inspiring. Plus, there's a link to a comic. Which one? You' have to click to find out. 

As for creating today, well. Today I rested. I found some inspiration. I took a walk downtown (and stopped in a few stores trying to find a wallet), and played Grass, a card game, with family. I laughed, ate, smoked. It was beautiful to be with family of choice. The kind you know are always there. 

And that is just as much art as installing metallic squares of people's prayers of movement / animation / life on man-made bamboo trees for a multi-media performance. 

So CHEERS to rest, to cards with family, and to a a new red leopard-print sleeveless jumpsuit I found at Ross Dress for Less. 

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John and I went to the Alemany Farmers Market today, and it was an array of color and smells. I brought it all home and started whipping up some food for a family gathering tomorrow. As I chopped I noticed texture, and I had to snap some pictures. This is as much a form of my art as drawing, poetry, or social practice. 

Speaking of social practice...

Tonight, Celi Tamayo-Lee and I with help from Charmaine Schuford and Marissa Bergmann facilitated an iteration of #PrayersAbove, a creative and civic inquiry, for Anima, a new show by Miss TANQ and Jyun Jyun. We asked audience members the questions:

• What moves you?
• What animates you? 
• What gives you life?

Answers were written with black Sharpie on either gold or silver reflective squares. These squares were then hung from constructed bamboo trees that flanked the stage for Anima. The prayer trees grounded the performance in the movement, animation, and life of the audience. 

LINK ONE (Getting Adversarial episode) 
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I've been commissioned by Rose Gefland to draw some portraits for an upcoming intergenerational LGBTQQIA anthology she's compiling as part of her senior thesis. This is one that I drew this morning.  

I love playing with filters and mirroring effects. I like the layers, depths, and parallels you can find. 

Celi Tamayo-Lee, Mary Claire Amable, and I hosted our #PrayersAbove Civic and Creative Investigation at BlockFest in the Forest hosted by CounterPulse in the Tenderloin National Forest.